My June Roundup ~ For Claire

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Hello lovelies,

As you'll already be aware if you're a regular reader of my blog, my monthly round up post is a post I write at the end of every month where I tell you all about the things I have done throughout the month and I also add in some photographs for you too.

Unfortunately this month is different, on Monday 9th June, I lost one of my lovely friends Claire. It was a complete shock and one I'm still struggling to deal with.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post so please forgive me in advance. Losing Claire in sudden circumstances is really hard and something I am finding hard to come to terms with, another thing I am struggling with is that I didn't get to say goodbye to Claire or tell her how special she was to me.

One of my lovely friends Emma said that it's important to focus on the memories and remember the happy times we had together than focussing on not saying good bye which really helped me and Simon pointed out that when I lost one of my best friends Donna to cancer in 2007, I did get to say my good byes to Donna and tell her how much she meant to me but it didn't make me feel any better when she died, which is true.

I would like to think that Claire knew how much she meant to me and to Simon and the girls too. She was a very good friend to me and to a lot of people and she was loved by all who knew her, she was kind and considerate and did a lot of work for charity and also the brownies and guides in her local area, and although I didn't get to say a final goodbye to her I am going to take what Emma said and also Simon and remember the happy times we had and the lovely things about Claire, and like Simon said saying goodbye to Donna didn't really help at the time and didn't make the pain of losing her any less so I am going to remember the good times I had with Claire and all the lovely things about her, and I'd like to think she knew how much she meant to me.

Before I got to the stage where I couldn't manage to do it any more, I used to love gardening and spent hours every summer in the garden pottering about. Claire had wanted to sort her own garden out and would often ask for my advice on plants etc, she had a small area and wanted to put some things in some pots so I spent a lot of time chatting with her about things she could have in pots and things that would re flower annually, she went out and bought some pots and plants and it looked great. I can't do my garden now so Simon takes care of it, we have plants that come up annually now so he doesn't have to do much apart from tend to those and other bits and jet wash the patio, but Claire loved to chat about gardening so I spoke to Simon and the girls and we decided that we wanted to do something special for Claire in our own way.

On Friday afternoon following an appointment I went to the garden centre with my mum and chose some new plants, Claire loved purple and pink and anything bright, but purple was her favourite colour (she even had a purple coffin) so I chose a pink/coral Sweet William and a pinky purple plant called Pink Kisses and a new pot for our lilac Campanula, Simon and the girls planted them into some pots and placed them in a corner of our patio area, that area is now 'Claires corner'.  Simon is going to jet wash the patio later in the week and also jet wash the tubs so it looks nice. It was so lovely that we had our own special way of saying good bye to Claire, I can watch the plants flower and grow each year and they will always remind me of Claire, I hope she likes it.

Claires Corner

Although I didn't  have the chance to say goodbye to Claire, in my own special way I have and I think she'd love her corner. 

I would also like to thank everyone who has commented on my videos, emailed me, tweeted me, commented on Instagram and left me such kind and comforting words since Claires death, it means the world to me and has been a great comfort, thank you.  Thank you also to all my friends and family for all their support, I am very lucky to have such a lot of support and it means the world to me. 

Night god bless my lovely Claire bear, sleep tight darling, love you lots. 

Thank you for reading, much love as always

Zoe x

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