Welcome back,
It’s easy to feel the pressure at Christmas. From glossy TV adverts to social media posts filled with elaborate gifts and lavish celebrations, it can leave many of us—especially parents—feeling guilty for not spending enough. I have sadly seen on social media and heard people in my real life speak of feeling guilty for not spending much money on their children, or not being able to take their family on festive days out to Christmas markets with ice skating and expensive hot chocolates, or to cinema trips and pantomimes. I also saw someone crying because they couldn't afford to buy an elf to do the cheeky elf on the shelf, and it broke my heart.
But when we strip away the glitter and the money spent, what truly stays with us?
After seeing so many upset parents, I decided to ask people of all ages to share their favourite and/or most treasured Christmas memories of their lifetime. The answers were a beautiful reminder that it’s not the money spent, the festive days out or the size and cost of the presents that matter—it’s the moments, memories, laughter, and the love.
The people I asked were aged between 10 and 84, I asked them to write down their memory/memories and send them to me. Here's what they said, all their own words, these have not been edited, I have just removed their names.
What's your favourite/most treasured Christmas memory or memories so far?
🎄My first Christmas with the girls (daughters) and getting everyone up at 4am because I was so excited I couldn't sleep and I couldn't wait for the girls to get up, it was the best.
🎄My grandma always came to stay with us for Christmas and on Christmas morning we were both awake really early, she had peeped in my room and saw I was awake, she came in and got in my bed and we chatted for ages about all sorts, really put the world to rights. I couldn't tell you what gifts I got that year, but I'll never forget sitting in bed with my grandma waiting for everyone else to get up. I was 12 years old and sadly my grandma passed away the following February, meaning that was the last Christmas I spent with her.
🎄My Grandma and grandad waking up at 4am when me and my sister were younger when we called to say we were awake. Just so they could come round to see me and my sister open our presents off Santa.
Those memories are treasured. They did this every year.
🎄Watching my children get excited about santa coming, going downstairs and announcing he's been. I miss this more than anything now they have all flown the nest.
🎄The year my dad made me my dolls house. Him and my mum had made it from scratch without me knowing about it. My mum had decorated all the rooms. I also think fondly of our Christmas stockings from my nanna with the cling film wrapped coins in the toes.
🎄It's got to be sat on the settee, cup of tea in hand, watching the children opening their presents.
🎄Listening to muffled voices from the adults downstairs at my grandparents house on Christmas eve, whilst I shared a double bed with my sister, convinced we could hear sleigh bells. Also the smell of Advocat and Brandy and the box of dates on the sideboard.
🎄Getting a bike age 6. I didn't ask for it, the bike was in kitchen and my parents told me to go in their for something and there it was, I didn't know for years that the bike was second hand and that my dad did it up spending hours in the garage every night when I went to bed. It was the best bike ever.
🎄Christmas at my Grandmas because I get to see everybody (family) all in one room, and the food my grandma makes.
🎄Being together with family.
🎄Seeing the babies (cousins) and eating grandmas home made rocky road.
🎄Sat eating Christmas dinner at the table with my nan and grandad surrounded by tacky Christmas decorations followed by a night of putting my nans rollers in for her and watching a film on the settee with a box of chocolates and a snowball if I was lucky.
🎄My first Christmas with my own children in my own home.
🎄Watching Elf at the theatre with my family.
🎄I’d probably say playing games on Boxing Day and having a super chill day, also performing the family panto my grandparents wrote on Christmas Day. It’s hard to pick though theres so many.
🎄Spending Christmas with my parents, brothers and grandparents, my grandma always knitted clothes for my dolly for my Christmas gifts and I loved them, they didn't cost much but meant everything to me.
🎄Having Christmas at my grandparents’ and I remember singing Christmas songs with them around the tree, and did a magic show for them with the magic set we got as a gift.
🎄Drinking hot chocolate at the Christmas markets then going ice skating.
🎄There’s no one big thing but all the traditions we do like getting a new bauble for the tree, Christmas crafts, going out at night to see the Christmas lights, and writing a letter to Grandma and Grandpa.
🎄Going to the underground Santa’s grotto because all the lights were magical. Also sitting around the table all together on Christmas Day with the whole family, dad and nana too.
🎄It’s very hard to pick one memory! I have lots of memories of childhood Christmases, especially with my Grandparents. Staying up until midnight at new year was exciting, and going for a walk with my Grandad at midnight to let the new year in. I remember the smell of the turkey roasting overnight and getting up super early to open presents.
🎄But I think my favourite Christmas memory is making paper chains with my own children when they were very little!
🎄Christmas with my children when they were at the age they started to believe in Father Christmas & then the grandchildren doing the same and my granddaughter starting to walk on Boxing day at just 9 months old.
🎄Getting our first Christmas tree, it was artificial and just a pole with about 6 branches sticking out at strange angles and it had real candles on which we lit, it was nothing really looking back but I was so excited and it was everything to me back then, we couldn't afford much but I didn't know that, I thought it was the best Christmas tree in the world.
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
So many people I asked had second hand toys or hand made gifts but never knew until they were much older or adults & they still treasure the memories of those toys now.
Not one person mentioned elaborate days out or how much money was spent or expensive gifts, Christmas eve boxes, matching family PJ's, Christmas family photo shoots or days and evenings out, not one person, but every single person I spoke to or had an email or text conversation with, mentioned spending time with their loved ones or those hand made gifts or second hand gifts that meant so much to them, the time their parents or grandparents had spent making things or doing things up for them.
So, if you or someone you know has been suffering from parent guilt recently, please show them this blog post, they may feel bad but their children will have an amazing Christmas and make wonderful memories that don't need to cost a fortune, just like the people who I asked, I had around 50 replies but a lot were similar sort of answers so I have included some chosen at random.
All the people who responded remember love, laughter, kindness and magic and those are the things your children will remember too, so please try not to feel bad or guilty, you're doing the best you can. I have heard so many times parents saying "I feel like such a bad parent because I can't get my child XYZ" but the fact you feel sad about these things, proves you ARE a good parent, if you weren't you wouldn't care what your child thinks and feels.
I promise you, your little ones will have a great time this Christmas, because they have you and you will create the magic for them, and that is what they will look back on and remember, the magic and being excited for Father Christmas and that magic is down to you, so please try not to beat yourself up or feel bad.
I really hope this post helps someone, even just one person, because if I can help one person to feel better then that means the world to me.
Thank you so much for reading, Happy Christmas
Zoë x
