Today's post is a little different, it's a more personal post, so get comfy, grab a drink and I'll start.
This year is my 50th birthday year, my actual birthday was 14th February and for around 6 - 10 months previous to my birthday, a couple of questions I had rather a lot were "What are you doing for your 50th" or "What would you like to do for your 50th" or "what would you like for your 50th?" depending on who was asking, and the honest truth was, I didn't have a clue, because I hadn't really ever dared think about it.
A Bit Of Background Information.
If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you will know that I have health problems that impact my life massively, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I won't go into too much detail as I'm sure you don't want this to be extremely long, but some years ago after having some worrying complications, some really awful symptoms coupled with extreme pain for months and months, and being fobbed off by my GP, and him telling me "you nurses with your self diagnosis" I did explain that that wasn't the case and that I know my own body and was becoming increasingly worried and felt like there was something very wrong.
I was finally able to see another GP who listened and sent me for some investigations, and after many investigations that finally resulted in abdominal surgery, and subsequently, major abdominal surgery, I was diagnosed with a very serious medical condition, and the condition had very serious side effects and a prognosis that wasn't good at all. I was told I was at extreme risk of my organs rupturing and me bleeding to death, at any time.
I had had all the surgery and procedures I could have and every possible test had been done and every way of helping me had been explored, but there was nothing anyone could do, no cure, nothing, I was diagnosed with a life limiting incurable medical condition.
Deep breaths.....
It was thought that I wouldn't make it to 40, a few years at best, it was horrendous, a feeling I will never be able to describe. I had 2 little girls, my partner Simon, and a job I loved and all of a sudden, it was like I'd been ripped out of my life and thrown into someone else's. I remember telling my parents and saying "At least it's me and not one of the girls" and my mum burst into tears and said "It is for me though, you're my little girl" It was awful, I felt awful, I felt angry, cheated, sad, frightened and so many other emotions.
But this post isn't about my health so I don't want to dwell on that, plus I'll be here all year, but I can discuss that in detail in another post if you'd like me to, but for now, I'll keep it as to the point as I can.
My 50th Is Approaching.
When I turned 40, I had a party with all my friends and family, I'm not really a party in a room with a DJ kind of person but because it was such a big deal for me to make the milestone, I thought a party was in order and I'm glad I did it, it was so lovely and I had the best time, it was amazing to celebrate a milestone I didn't think I'd see.
So when my 50th was getting closer, I knew I didn't want a party like my 40th again, and because my birthday is in February, we couldn't have any celebrations at the house because it's too cold to have an outside seating area and there wouldn't be enough room indoors for everyone.
I also didn't want a party like my 40th because lockdown really showed me who my true friends are. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you have to be checking in daily with me, but you know, once in a while would be nice, especially when people I thought were close to me and cared, never checked in, and I realised it was me making the first contact every time, so a party was out of the equation.
I wracked my brains and so did my girls and Simon, but we couldn't think what to do, we came up with some ideas but nothing felt right. It's a huge milestone for me and so I wanted to do something special.
Then I had the idea...
My 50th Idea.
Since I didn't think I'd make it to my 40th birthday, I hadn't ever given my 50th birthday a thought, I suppose I just assumed that I wouldn't be here so I didn't really pay it any mind, and because of this, it gave me an idea, and I finally knew what I wanted to do for my 50th birthday.
I chose the gift of time...
The Gift Of Time?
I decided I wanted to spend my 50th year with those I loved the most and those who loved me too, those true friends I spoke about up there ↑ and of course my family too. I thought since I was turning 50 and it's kind of a big deal, well it is if you didn't think you'd make it, I would have a 50th year, so from February 14th 2023 to February 14th 2024 I wanted to spend time with the special people in my life, it didn't have to be a huge deal, it could be as simple as someone popping in for a brew, but I decided I wanted to take lots of photos and document the whole year somehow.
I wrote a post on Facebook, and I sent the same post in a whats app or text message to those who don't have Facebook, and the response I got was lovely, it made me feel very loved and I knew I'd chosen the perfect way to spend my 50th year.
The Next Part?
I've decided I'm going to save the next part for another post, so if you're interested in reading it, keep an eye on my social media accounts or my link tree which is here, this has all my social media links, plus any discount codes I have for you to use.
What do you think of my idea for celebrating my 50th birthday? What would you do to celebrate a milestone birthday? Let me know in the comments section below.
Zoë
